


If We Live A Life In Fear (I'll Wait A Thousand Years)

by Rothecooldad



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, But more hurt than comfort rly, Canon-Typical Violence, Fake AH Crew, Hurt/Comfort, I feel like I should apologize for this, I mean i left them all alive AND gave them a happy ending what more do you want from me, I won't obviously, M/M, Maybe a lil, not graphic tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-30
Updated: 2016-11-30
Packaged: 2018-09-03 06:52:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8701738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rothecooldad/pseuds/Rothecooldad
Summary: just to see you smile again 

 
 
 
When you live a dangerous life, it's inevitable that things are gonna have to give eventually





	

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song Resistance by Muse
> 
> disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters are based upon the internet personalities portrayed by members of Achievement Hunter and in no way are meant to reflect the lives of the actual person or persons themselves.

“ _ Gavin, what are you doi-? _ GAVIN!”

 

Matt cursed under his breath as he watched Gavin walk out of frame of the security camera.

 

“Don't worry about it, Matthew.” Gavin said, nonchalantly. “Just checking the place out. Can't let everyone else have all the fun.”

 

“Gav, I can't see you on the feed anymore. Whatever it is you think you're going to find in there, it's not fucking worth it.” He drummed his fingers against the keyboard nervously, clicking over to the set of cameras on the first story, checking on where Ryan and Jeremy were at. 

 

The duo were making a distraction downstairs, keeping all attention on them and evading guards so Gavin would be able to clear out the upper safe of whatever information they could find with relative ease. 

 

The crew had spent the last week trying to prepare for this hit, planning down to seemingly insignificant details to ensure everybody would be safe and it would be a simple job. They'd been having trouble with this new gang for a while, and infiltrating this party tonight was going to give them a leg up. Nothing was supposed to go wrong because everything had already been accounted for.

 

Everything except, of course, Gavin's  propensity for being difficult. 

 

Somehow, amidst all the strategizing and the preparations, between all the  _ what ifs  _ and the  _ for sures,  _ they all had managed to collectively forget Gavin's rather impressive ability to be absolutely unpredictable at the _ worst possible times. _

 

So, when the self-proclaimed “ _ wild card,” _ of the crew decided to wander off in search of  _ whatever the fuck he was looking for _ , Matt shouldn't have been as surprised as he was. 

 

And, really, Matt wasn't all that surprised. Pissed? A bit, yeah. But, Gavin not following plans was possibly the only predictable thing about the man. Matt would have happily obliged him, helped him through his little side quest while the others were still busy, if he could  _ actually fucking see him. _

 

So now, instead of guiding Gavin through the upper floor so that he could grab the files--maybe even leave a nasty, little present in the form of a virus in their system if he had the time-- and get the fuck out, Matt was stuck switching between camera to camera in hopes that he  _ might  _ catch a glimpse of Gavin because the fucking British prick decided to go on a goddamn adventure through uncharted territory.

 

Yeah, you could say Matt was pretty pissed.

 

“Ooh, Matt, he's got a whole set of gold watches in here.” Gavin said, giddiness palpable even through the comm. Because _of_ _course_ Gavin's distracted by gold, why wouldn't he be? When he got out of this, Matt was going to fucking kill him.

 

“That's nice, Gav.” Matt replied, voice tight. “How about you kindly  _ get the fuck where I can see you  _ and you can tell me all about them later.”

 

Matt may have been angry as hell-- and for good reason-- but mostly, he was just really fucking worried for Gavin. 

 

He knew it was stupid. Despite acting like a child most of the time, Gavin was a big boy. He could take care of himself.

 

Matt couldn't help it. Every time one of the crew was unnecessarily reckless and Matt had no way of helping, his heart would firmly lodge itself in his throat and he could do nothing but imagine every possible scenario, each thought getting worse and worse as time went on until they were out of harm's way and Matt could finally breathe again.

 

Right now, with no visual confirmation that Gavin was  _ okay, he's fine, you're worrying for nothing, Matt,  _ the nerves were gnawing at his stomach like battery acid, dread sinking in deeper and deeper with every second that Gavin wasn't in his direct line of sight.

 

“Oh, come off it, Matt.” He could hear Gavin laughing in his ear. “I  have  _ plenty  _ of time.”

 

“No!” Matt ground out. “No, you really fucking do--  _ Gavin _ ?” Matt stopped talking for a moment, hearing a shuffling on the other end of the line that was too muffled to be coming from Gavin.

 

“What are--” Gavin's question was cut off by a loud crash. Matt's heartbeat sped up.

 

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” yelled a voice on the other line. 

 

Matt's hands were trembling as he tried and tried to find Gavin on the cameras, knowing it was no use. 

 

He felt his eyebrows raise when he heard Gavin give a breathy giggle.

 

“Whoops, sorry, mate!” Gavin slurred out, punctuating the line with another giggle. Oh.  _ Oh _ . Matt spared a moment to be thankful that at least Gavin's sense of self-preservation was functional _ some  _ of the time, though not nearly as often as Matt would like. “‘M tryin’a find the loo.”

 

“Wait,” came the voice again. “You're one of The Fakes!” 

 

_ “ _ Gavin, bail! Get your ass out of there.” Matt’s blood was rushing in his ears. “Now! I'm sending the guys up there, okay, just get the fuck out.”  _ Please,  _ he added silently, a prayer to the universe for Gavin to be  _ okay. _

 

Matt switched frequencies on the comms, tapping into Ryan's and Jeremy's earpieces and clicking over to their set of cameras. It took him three times to hit the button without missing, his hands shaking.

 

“Guys, get upstairs.  _ Now.”  _ Matt commanded, not bothering to keep his voice low. 

 

“Kind of busy right now, Matt.” Jeremy grunted. On the screen, Matt watched him duck into an open doorway, chest heaving.

 

“I said fucking  _ now _ , okay, Gavin's in trouble.” Matt's voice broke, cracking on Gavin's name, but he was too scared to be embarrassed right now.

 

There was a pause where the only thing that could be heard was his thundering heartbeat and Jeremy's heavy breathing. He wasn't sure where Ryan was, but as shitty as it may have been, Matt couldn't bring himself to worry about him, too. Ryan was much better suited for this shit anyway.

 

“On it.” Jeremy replied finally. “What room?”

 

“I don't fucking  _ know.”  _ Matt wanted to scream. “He went off by himself. Just-” he took a deep breath. “Just go get him, okay.”

 

Without waiting for a response, Matt switched back to Gavin's comm.

 

“Gavin, I'm back. Please, for the love of fuck, tell me you're safe.” Matt pleaded, chest tight.

 

He was met with the sounds of a struggle, Gavin's squawks intermixed with the deep grunts of the rival gang member. 

 

Matt swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

 

“Alright,” he started, making a conscience effort to sound as neutral as possible. “Jeremy's on his way.”

 

The struggling stopped, immediately followed by the sound of a gunshot. Then another. And another.

 

“G-Gavin?” Matt asked, tentatively, breaking the silence. He wasn't a religious man-- hard to be when you lead the life they did-- but Matt would be lying if he said he wasn't praying to any deity that might listen right now for Gavin's safety.

 

“ _ Matthew,”  _ Gavin rasped through the earpiece. 

 

“Oh god, Gav, are you alright?” Matt was still searching the cameras, watching Jeremy make his way to the top floor. Ryan was tailing him now, and Matt was glad to see he was fine, too.

 

“I got ‘em, Matt. Bipped ‘em right in the heart.” 

 

“Good job, buddy,” Matt let out a sigh of relief. It was short-lived, however, Matt's stomach lurching when he heard Gavin start coughing on the other end, harsh and wet. _ No. _

 

_ “ _ Hey, pal, take it easy, alright. Rye and Jeremy are almost there.” Matt closed his eyes, willing the shakiness to leave his voice. 

 

“Got my shoulder,” Gavin told him, his words so brittle it felt as if they would shatter in an instant. He whimpered. “ _ Really hurts _ .”

 

Matt opened his eyes to check on Jeremy and Ryan's progress through the building. They were closer, but not nearly close enough for Matt’s heart to relax.

 

“Shhh, just stay still. Okay, Gav? They're almost there.”  _ Hurry the fuck up, guys. _

 

_ “ _ Stay with me, Matt.” Gavin's pleading was barely audible through the earpiece. “ _ Please.” _

 

“I'm here, Gavvy, alright. I'm not going anywhere. Promise.” Matt's reassurances were laced with fear he tried to swallow back. He needed to be strong right now.  _ Gavin needed him to be strong. _

 

“ _ ‘m scared,”  _ Gavin whispered. Matt could hear his jagged breathing pick up, harsh in his ears. He wiped away the tears escaping down his face. He had to stay focused, dammit.

 

“You're fine, Gavin. It's okay.” He choked back a sob. “You're going to be okay.” 

 

His heart skipped a beat when he heard the sound of another crash on Gavin's end of the line. 

 

“Gavin!” Matt released the breath he hadn't known he was holding. That was Ryan.

 

They were there. They could save him. Gavin would be fine.  _ He had to be fine. _

 

“Matt?” And that was Jeremy, through Gavin's earpiece. “Gav’s passed out, but we got him.”

 

Matt had so much he wanted to say then. ‘ _ Thank you’  _ and ‘ _ will he be okay?’  _ and ‘ _ I'm sorry, this is my fault.’  _ fighting to pass his lips.

 

“Bring him home for me.” He said, simply.

 

“Will do.” Jeremy told him, voice  quiet, before the comm cut out.

 

***

 

When they arrived back to the penthouse, an unconscious Gavin was rushed into Caleb's medical bay. The medic in question had given them all a stern warning not to disturb him, even going as far as having Kdin stand guard outside to stop the others from bursting in while he was stitching Gavin up.

 

Michael tried to see him, but Kdin was no nonsense about the whole ordeal, easily able to dissuade him with her glare.

 

Everyone else had scattered when they came back, passing the time in their own individual ways.

 

Matt chose to stay close by, even though he wasn't allowed in the room yet. Kdin eyed him warily from where she was sitting, but Matt paid her no mind, pacing back and forth anxiously.

 

A few of the others had stopped by to check on him, each making an effort to comfort _him,_ like he actually mattered here, like they weren't hurting, too.

 

Jack came over with a blanket and a  cup of tea, offering Matt a warm smile when he thanked her.

 

Geoff demanded they both have some of his scotch, claiming that getting drunk was usually how he waited these things out. Matt didn't refuse, despite knowing he really should, knocking back shot after shot of the amber liquid until even Geoff thought he had had enough.

 

Ryan followed soon after, making sure Matt ate something, handing him a sandwich that Matt didn't even taste as he chewed.

 

“Gavin's a stubborn asshole at the best of times,” Ryan told him, patting Matt's back. “He'll pull through” 

 

Jeremy didn't say anything when he came to see Matt, just pulled him into a tight hug. Matt had to fight to breathe, but he let himself take solace in the familiar warmth of his best friend.

 

Michael's the one that really surprised him, coming in covered in ash and smelling of smoke. He had obviously been relieving his stress with his explosives, and Matt was sure he'd be hearing about it on the news later. 

 

Saying Michael looked dangerous would be an understatement. With his nostrils flared, and fire burning in his eyes, scorched clothing and gun hanging loosely from its holster at his hip, Michael looked like fury itself in that moment.

 

When he spotted Matt, he raised his fist and pointed to him.

 

“You,” he growled out. “Jeremy told me what happened.” 

 

_ This is it,  _ Matt thought, bracing himself for Michael's anger.  _ He's going to kill me and I deserve it. _

 

He froze, confused when Michael wrapped his arms around Matt's shoulders. 

 

Before Matt could react, Michael was already stepping back, his face much softer than it had been before.

 

“Thank you,” Michael told him, tone sincere. 

 

“F-for what?” Matt asked, still reeling from the embrace.

 

Michael looked at him like he was stupid, and right then, Matt would probably agree. He sure  _ felt  _ stupid, unable to make sense of what was happening.

 

“You saved him, y’know,” Michael said slowly, looking up at Matt.

 

Matt just shook his head. He didn't do anything; that was all Jeremy and Ryan. He couldn't even  _ see  _ Gavin, all he could do was sit back and listen while the others got to play hero.

 

Michael frowned, seeing the look on Matt's face.

 

“I'm serious, shithead, this wasn't your fault. Gavin's a little British bitch who couldn't stick to a plan if we fucking hot glued it to his dick, alright? Everybody here knows that.” His voice shifted, coming out much gentler than Matt had ever heard it before. “ _ Nobody. Blames. You.”  _

 

Matt didn't say anything, letting Michael’s words and the conviction behind them sink in. Luckily, Michael hadn't expected him to, apparently deciding he had said his piece and walking away.

 

That's what finally made Matt take a seat, closing his eyes and dropping his head in his hands. Between the events of the night, and the  alcohol in his system, Matt was lightheaded, and his thoughts were sluggish moving around in his brain.

 

That's where Caleb found him hours later, wiping his hands off on his scrubs, the water leaving wet marks on his thighs. He cleared his throat to get Matt's attention, reaching behind his head to loosen his surgical mask so he could speak clearly.

 

“I assume you'll pass on the message,” Caleb started. Matt nodded, suddenly tense. “Gavin’s in recovery now. It was touch-and-go for a while, but he pulled through. He should be fine,” Matt let himself relax, feeling the relief spread through his limbs. “But, it'll be a while before he can use his left arm again. Good thing his right arm's his shooting arm, yeah?”

 

The corner of Matt's lip curled upward in acknowledgement of Caleb's attempt at lightening the mood, but he was too tired to do anything else. Now that he knew Gavin was going to make it, everything felt like it was crashing down on him. He wanted nothing more than to go to his room and sleep.

 

Well, no. There  _ was _ one thing he wanted more.

 

“C-can,” Matt paused, composing himself. “Can I s-see him?” 

 

Caleb gave him a considering look before nodding.

 

“He'll still be asleep, but--” Caleb trailed off, tilting his head toward the door.

 

Matt didn't have to be told twice, scrambling to stand up. He stood outside the medical bay door for a moment, taking a deep breath and steeling himself, pushing it open in one swift movement.

 

He stopped dead when he saw Gavin lying in the bed, tubes of who-knows-what attached to his arms. His left arm was crossed over his chest in a sling, and he looked so fragile, Matt was afraid to even breathe in his direction for fear of breaking him.

 

But, he was there, and he was going to be okay. 

 

Matt didn't bother stopping himself from crying then, nobody around to call him on it. He slumped unceremoniously in the chair next to the bed, the tears blurring his vision as he stared at Gavin's still form.

 

“I'm sorry,” Matt whispered to the silent room. He bowed his head, grabbing Gavin's hand in his own. The hand was limp, and his fingers were chilled, so Matt started to rub them in an effort to increase  circulation in the prone digits.. “I'm sorry,” he said again, even quieter this time. He closed his eyes.

 

A moment passed, then another, and soon enough Matt's exhaustion took ahold of him, pulling him under.

 

***

 

Matt was awoken by something shifting under his head. Not knowing what it was, Matt had half a mind to ignore it and let sleep claim him again. But, the shifting was insistent, so Matt lifted his head and looked around, confused.

 

The first thing he noticed was the fact that he wasn't in his room, but that wasn't all that unusual. He often fell asleep at his desk, and by the crick in his neck, that was a likely option. But, he didn't see his computers anywhere, and his face wasn't pressed against a keyboard, so maybe he hadn't fallen asleep working after all.

 

The second thing he noticed when his mind began to clear, was the raging headache pounding away in his skull. He groaned, shutting his eyes again. 

 

“Alright there, love?” came a familiar voice to his right that had Matt whipping his eyes back open. He came face to face with Gavin Free, and as he stared into those bright green eyes, the previous night's events came crashing back to him.

 

And with the memories, and the knowledge that Gavin was fine, came the overwhelming  _ rage  _ that Matt had ignored the night before.

 

“You,” Matt hissed, standing up. “Do you even fucking know what I went through last night? What the whole fucking crew went through last night?” 

 

Gavin went to speak, but Matt put his hand up, stopping him. He began pacing in front of the bed, not letting his eyes stray toward Gavin's face. He had to get this out.

 

“No, listen, okay. Because you couldn't just- just stay where I fucking told you to, you almost  _ died.”  _ Matt's voice caught on the last word, but he powered through. 

 

“I didn't- I didn't know what the fuck was happening. I didn't know where you were, if you were okay, fucking anything.  _ And it felt like my fault. _ ” 

 

Gavin tried to speak up again, but Matt ignored him, continuing.

 

“Do you realize how goddamn helpless I felt? Just sitting there and waiting for confirmation from  _ somebody  _ that you were alive or dead? I could do fuck-all beyond leaning back and twiddling my goddamn thumbs because you couldn't.  _ Follow. Fucking. Directions.”  _ Matt paused, swallowing thickly.

 

“Do you even realize what that would have done to me? Thinking you were... dead?” His voice lowered, and he began rambling to himself. “ _ Not that you would know. Why would you know? Not like I ever told you.”  _

 

“You stayed.”

 

That made Matt stop dead in his tracks, finally turning back toward the bed.

 

“... what?” 

 

“ _ You stayed.”  _ Gavin said reverently, staring at Matt in awe.

 

It was like someone pulled the plug on him, his anger draining from his body as he watched Gavin smile.

 

“Well, yeah,” Matt replied hesitantly. “I promised.”

 

And, fuck, did Gavin beam at that admission.

 

Gavin went to stand, and Matt rushed to his side, pushing him back onto the bed gently.

 

“Easy there, Gav. Don't hurt yourself.”

 

“Matt Bragg.” Gavin grinned at him before using his good hand to curl around Matt's neck, dragging him closer. “You may not believe me, but you saved my life. _ ”  _

 

Gavin leant up and closed the gap between the two of them, pressing his lips to the corner of Matt's mouth. Matt melted into the kiss, shifting until he was balanced on the bed next to Gavin, mindful of his injured shoulder. He cradled Gavin's face in his hand as he pulled away, smiling softly.

 

From behind them, they heard a loud wolf-whistle.

 

“Yeah, boi, get some!” Michael yelled.

 

Geoff stood next to him in the doorway, watching the scene fondly, until he caught Matt looking at him. He schooled his expression into one of annoyance, muttering how it was about damn time and how if he knew that all it would take was a near death experience, he would have shot Gavin himself and saved them all the trouble.

 

That was… a little worrying to hear, but he knew that meant Geoff cared, in his own twisted way.

 

Besides, it was hard for Matt to care much about anything right then, other than the man in his arms.

 

Gavin pressed another kiss to his lips softly.

 

“ _ My hero.” _

**Author's Note:**

> I brought cute fluffy braggvin to the masses  
> And now I offer up angst  
> You're welcome/ I'm sorry
> 
> Also come find me on tumblr at [ jinglejeremy ](https://jinglejeremy.tumblr.com)


End file.
